Frequently asked questions · Page 2
Answers to frequently asked questions about Hell, sin, and the fine print. Answers may vary by denomination.
Ticket #0419
📋 Patch Notes: late 1960s–early '70s, Watch Tower publications flag 1975 as a likely end of 6,000 years of human history. Many Witnesses read: Armageddon. 1975 build: never shipped. Support still…
Ticket #0413
📋 FAQ Q: The golden plates? A: Returned to the angel, per Joseph Smith. Q: The Abraham papyri? A: Per the church's essay, Egyptologists call them funerary texts from centuries after Abraham.
Ticket #0249
"…whom he will he hardeneth." — Romans 9:18 (KJV) "Who will have all men to be saved…" — 1 Timothy 2:4 (KJV) [ He hardens whoever he picks ] [ He wants everyone saved ] Predestination desk…
Ticket #0140
Forwarded to Heaven's support: customer asks where eternity's cancel button is. 15% of U.S. adults said in 2021 that people in heaven can choose to stop existing. Expected response time: eternity.…
Ticket #0111
Even the Vatican's science academy confirms: 1992, John Paul II admits the 1633 theologians erred on Galileo. Pope: infallible since 1870. Error admitted: 122 years later. Testimony accepted. 📋
Ticket #0106
📋 Patch Notes 1633: Galileo condemned. 1870: Papal infallibility made dogma. 1992: John Paul II admits the 1633 theologians erred. Fix time: 359 years. Infallibility: unaffected.
Ticket #0096
📋 FAQ Q: Can I still pay to shorten purgatory? A: Not since 1567, when Pope Pius V cancelled indulgence grants involving fees. Q: Refunds for earlier purchases? A: Sales under the previous doctrine…
Ticket #5390
"…by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men…" — Romans 5:12 (KJV) Ticket #5390: Customer, age 0 days, billed for fruit eaten by a man he never met.…
Ticket #0076
📋 Patch Notes: End Times Late 1960s: Watch Tower publications flag 1975 as a likely end of 6,000 years of human history. Many Witnesses read: Armageddon. 1976: arrives anyway. Users report no…
Ticket #2000
"…neither the Son, but the Father." — Mark 13:32 (KJV) 📋 Ticket #2000: Customer asks how the Son can be God yet not know what God knows. Forwarded to Heaven's support team. All three agents are the…
