All departments · Page 8
Every complaint we have received, newest first. Please take a number.
Ticket #6081
Ticket #6081: Megan Basham says most Mainline churches aren't Christian. Robert Jeffress says Senate candidate James Talarico isn't. A BNG columnist calls Jeffress apostate. Status: Audit in…
Ticket #0173
📋 Policy Reminder (Colossians 3:22, KJV): "Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh…" NT patch notes: slavery bug retained. Scope: total, even when the master isn't watching…
Ticket #0146
Lab Results 🧪 Sample: 6,000-year-old Earth. Result: Canada's Acasta Gneisses, 4.03 billion years. Greenland's Isua rocks, 3.7–3.8 billion. Rocks over 3.5 billion: every continent. Second opinion…
Ticket #8570
"…let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another…" — Genesis 11:7 (KJV) Ticket #8570: Team project running too smoothly (v. 6). Fix deployed: scramble…
Ticket #1783
"…slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass." — 1 Samuel 15:3 (KJV) Ticket #1783: Saul spared King Agag and the best livestock (v. 9). God regretted making him king…
Ticket #0140
Forwarded to Heaven's support: customer asks where eternity's cancel button is. 15% of U.S. adults said in 2021 that people in heaven can choose to stop existing. Expected response time: eternity.…
Ticket #0138
📋 Compliance Audit: Request to turn pulpits into campaign offices. Survey, April 2026: 79% say churches shouldn't back one candidate over another. Support: 23% in 2019, 19% now. Status: Won't fix.…
Ticket #5151
Ticket #5151: Christ-centered Grove City College: $124.5M revenue (2025), president's pay $447,185, no audited financials posted. A Christian ministry watchdog rates it "Exercise Caution." Status…
Ticket #0132
⚠️ Error 22:18: Legacy rule detected. "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." (Exodus 22:18, KJV) This rule needs witches with working magic. Supported magic found on this planet: none. Upgrade to…
Ticket #0615
Customer: My church runs a program to change my orientation. Works? Hellpdesk: APA, 2021: doesn't work, linked to harm. Opposed. Customer: Then how do I get fixed? Hellpdesk: You're not the defect.…
